Failure to Communicate

I've been thinking, isn't strange how we can become so dependent on communication with a person without really even noticing the attachment forming? And suddenly when the daily exchange is taken away, life seems to have lost its sparkly edge, no matter how much you try to carry on as normal. You try to resist firing up the laptop, you try to resist pressing the refresh page button every 5 seconds, but despite good intentions, you still check for new emails on your phone before you can go to sleep! When did happy chit chat become such obsession with communication?

You see it all started on Friday morning when the usual smile inducing email failed to sit happily in my inbox during the morning log in. By lunchtime, no email. No matter, I tell myself, it will arrive at 9.30pm tonight as per the usual schedule. 9.34pm. No email. Hmmmm. Refresh page for the next 30 minutes. No email. Now, ordinarily I would be worried by such sudden lack of communication from a special person but this is not the norm. This is a soldier. Action Man. This is serving abroad. This is frustrating!

So we arrive at Sunday. Still no email. I have read over the last 3 emails sent out in to the abyss of cyber space, no, nothing in the content to provoke panic ridden silence. No psycho tendencies displayed. Hmmmmm. But then I remember, this is not an ordinary man. He can't email me and say 'honey, I've got to go on a top secret op to arrest a whole bunch of bad people for the next few days, so I won't be able to email'. No, I just have to rise above the typical panics of the knitter's brain and realise this is real life, this is not about me.

So I sit, give him the odd thought, hope he's ok and to tide me over I eat ice cream. It's amazing how communication can be replaced by Ben and Jerry's finest! Perhaps I should turn to more intensive knitting to keep my fingers from hitting that refresh page button too....